Five o'clock | The Bench, for Married Men

He goes first

It is five o'clock. I should be leaving.

Instead I find one more thing to do at the desk. It looks like work, so nobody questions it. Including me.

The truth is that I am comfortable there. At that desk I have authority. I have control. Nothing is asked of me that I have not already decided to give.

Going home is not like that. Going home I have to be accountable. I have to be available. There may be a conversation waiting that I do not feel like having at five o'clock.

So I stayed longer than I needed to, and I called it work.

Joshua

Your turn. Nobody sees this.

What is your version of staying a little longer?

No name, no login, no email address. One tap.

The room

3 men have answered this week.

I leave when I said I would0%

I find one more thing to do at the desk34%

I take the long way home33%

I sit outside before I go in33%

I stay out until the house is quiet0%

These are the real answers from the men who opened this week. No name, no email address, no IP address is stored, and no cookie is set.

The turn

The desk is not where the work is. It is where the authority is.

There, I decide what happens. Nothing is asked of me that I have not already agreed to give. I am good at it, and being good at something is a comfortable place to hide.

Home does not work like that. Home asks me to be accountable. Home asks me to be available, and sometimes to be vulnerable, and at five o'clock I am not always prepared to be.

So I stay where I am competent instead of going where I am needed, and I call it providing.

Here is the part that took me longest to admit. I was not doing anything wrong. That is exactly the problem. I was at my desk. And my marriage was still drifting, because not doing anything wrong is not the same as doing something.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. James 1:19, KJV

Swift to hear. That is the thing I was not ready to be at five o'clock.

The rep

One rep. This week.

Pick one day this week and leave when you said you would. Then walk in and ask her a question before you say anything about your own day.

One day. One question first. That is the whole thing.

3 men have logged this rep

Five o’clock

Five o’clock

One rep. This week.