Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away · Day 7 of 21
Listening Beneath the Words
Scripture reading
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”
Proverbs 18:13, KJV
Teaching lesson
Listening is one of the most powerful, and most overlooked, skills in marriage.
A husband once said, “Every time we talk, it turns into an argument.”After observing their conversations, the issue became clear.
Neither of them was truly listening.
She would speak, and he would interrupt.He would respond, and she would counter immediately.
Both were focused on defending themselves, not understanding each other.
What changed everything was one simple shift:
They began repeating what they heard before responding.
At first, it felt awkward.But over time, something changed.
They felt heard.They felt valued.The tension reduced.
Listening is not waiting for your turn to speak.It is choosing to understand.
Often, behind anger is hurt.Behind silence is disappointment.Behind frustration is a need.
When we listen beneath the words, we begin to hear the heart.
And that is where connection is restored.
Put it into practice
Together
Your challenge
During your next conversation, repeat what your spouse said before responding.
On your own
To reflect on
- Do I interrupt or truly listen?
- What emotions might my spouse be expressing beneath their words?
Prayer focus
“Pray for the ability to listen with empathy and understanding. Absolutely, continuing with Days 8–11, building naturally from communication into pattern-breaking, intimacy, and reconnection, all grounded in the workbook progression (skills → reconnection → deeper bonding).”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.