The version your colleagues get | The Bench

He goes first

A colleague rang out of the blue, needing to be shown how to do something.

I cleared most of my day. We went through it in detail, broke for lunch, came back, and stayed with it until it was fully complete. Over and beyond. I felt good about it. I had helped somebody.

That evening I was working at my desk. Sharlene was at a desk close by. She was stuck.

I gave her a short answer and went back to my own work, because I needed to finish what I was doing.

She took a moment and reminded me how patient I had been with my colleague that day.

I did not know how to respond. I knew she was right.

Joshua

Your turn. Nobody sees this.

Honestly, who gets your best patience?

No name, no login, no email address. One tap.

The room

8 men have answered this week.

My wife50%

Whoever is paying me13%

My children25%

My friends12%

Anyone who is not at home0%

These are the real answers from the men who opened this week. No name, no email address, no IP address is stored, and no cookie is set.

The turn

Most of a day. Through lunch. For somebody who rang out of the blue.

A short answer for my wife, at a desk close enough that I could hear her working.

I do not need to build an argument on top of that. The arithmetic is the argument.

But notice what it is not. I was not angry. I did not raise my voice. Nothing happened that anyone would call a row. I was busy, that is all, and she was the one person I felt safe making wait.

That is the part worth sitting with. Not that I was harsh, but that I was not. I was perfectly pleasant, for an entire day, to somebody I owe nothing to. And I rationed the same patience from the woman I promised my life to, because she will still be there when I look up.

The colleague can leave. She has already said she will not.

Somewhere along the way I started charging her for that promise.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts. Psalm 139:23, KJV

Search me. Not I have searched. He is asking to be shown something he cannot see from the inside.

The rep

One rep. This week.

Once this week, give her the work version. The tone you would use with the client you cannot afford to lose. Same patience, same face, same willingness to be interrupted.

Notice whether she comments on it. That answer is information.

6 men have logged this rep