The first ten minutes | The Bench

He goes first

This morning I got up, got a glass of water, ate some watermelon.

I had my phone in my hand before I had said a word to Sharlene. I had picked up my tablet to do devotion, but on instinct I reached for both phones as well, the business one and the personal one, and checked them both. Almost expecting a business WhatsApp.

At my desk there was a missed call. Instead of devotion, I returned it.

By the time Sharlene came out for our devotion, I was deep in a phone conversation, working out how to end it graciously.

No personal devotion. No exercise. I started our time together already behind.

I charge my phone in a separate room at night, on purpose. This morning I just walked into that room.

Joshua

Your turn. Nobody sees this.

What is the first thing you reach for in the morning?

No name, no login, no email address. One tap.

The room

5 men have answered this week.

My wife20%

My phone40%

My alarm, and then my phone20%

I pray first20%

I could not tell you. It is automatic0%

These are the real answers from the men who opened this week. No name, no email address, no IP address is stored, and no cookie is set.

The turn

The first ten minutes and the last ten minutes are the two moments in a day when a man is least defended.

Whatever gets them is setting the terms. Not because a phone is evil. It is just first.

I already keep mine out of the bedroom. It did not help. The rule moved the phone. It did not move the reach.

And what comes first gets the version of you that has not put its armour on yet. That version is quieter, slower, easier to reach. It is also the version your wife almost never meets, because by the time you turn towards her you have already been briefed by the world, and you have already decided what kind of day this is going to be.

No man would say out loud that he chooses his phone over his wife. The first ten minutes say it every morning, and nobody has to decide anything.

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. Psalm 5:3, KJV

Something is going to have the first ten minutes. The only question is whether you chose it.

The rep

One rep. This week.

For one week, do not touch your phone until you have spoken to your wife.

Not where it sleeps. Who comes first.

4 men have logged this rep