Keep Your Eyes on the Marriage You Are Building
Rules of Resilience
Day 5 of 21 · Thursday 18 June 2026
Scripture reading
“And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”
Habakkuk 2:2, KJV
Teaching lesson
After learning to question the negative stories they had been telling themselves, they realised they needed a clearer story about where they were going.
For months, most of their conversations had centred on what was wrong. They talked about the tension, the unmet needs, the financial pressure, and the ways they had disappointed each other. These matters needed attention, but the problems had slowly become the only picture they could see.
They had forgotten to talk about the marriage they still wanted to build.
Many couples begin marriage with a sense of hope and purpose. They imagine companionship, a peaceful home, shared faith, growing affection, and a life in which they support one another. Yet ordinary responsibilities and recurring difficulties can gradually push that vision into the background.
When a couple loses sight of where they are going, every obstacle can begin to feel like proof that the marriage is failing. The current struggle becomes larger than the relationship itself.
A shared vision does not require couples to ignore what is difficult. It gives them a reason to face it. When both spouses remember what they are working towards, conflict becomes something to resolve rather than something that defines them. Sacrifices become more meaningful because they are connected to a shared purpose.
Your vision does not have to be complicated. It may simply be a marriage in which both spouses feel emotionally safe, spiritually connected, respected, supported, and able to enjoy life together. It may include the atmosphere you want within your home, the values you want to practise, and the legacy you hope your relationship will leave.
The vision must also allow room for growth. You are not describing a perfect marriage with no disagreements or difficult seasons. You are describing the kind of couple you want to become as you face those seasons together.
The problems in front of you may be real, but they are not the whole story. Keep your eyes on the marriage God is helping you build.
Together
Your challenge
Set aside a few quiet minutes and write one short paragraph describing the marriage you want to build together.
You may begin with:
"With God’s help, we are building a marriage that…"
Include how you want your relationship to feel, the values you want it to reflect, and how you want to respond when difficulties arise.
Read the paragraph aloud and choose one small action you can take this week that agrees with your shared vision. Keep the statement somewhere you can both revisit it.
On your own
To reflect on
- Have I become so focused on what is wrong in our marriage that I have lost sight of what God may still be helping us build?
Prayer focus
“Lord, forgive us for the times we have allowed our difficulties to become the only thing we can see. We have sometimes focused so much on what is wrong that we have forgotten the purpose, hope, and possibilities You have placed before us. Restore our vision for our marriage. Help us describe clearly the kind of relationship we want to build and the kind of spouses You are calling us to become. When obstacles appear, remind us that they do not have to define our story. Keep our hearts focused on You and our steps moving in the same direction. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.