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Rules of Resilience

Strong marriages are not the ones without storms. They are the ones built before the storm arrives. Staying honest, staying soft, and building something that holds when life does not go to plan.

All devotionsAddictionsBecoming Best Friends in MarriageImproving CommunicationLetting GoLetting Go of My MoneyLiking, Appreciating and Enjoying Your SpouseLoving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking AwayPraying with LoveRules of ResilienceShared Vision and Shared Goals

Or browse by topic: Appreciation and Respect, Communication in Marriage, Conflict and Repair, Emotional Connection, Forgiveness and Letting Go, Friendship in Marriage, Growing Together Spiritually, Money and Financial Unity, Prayer in Marriage, Stress and Hard Seasons, Trust in Marriage, Vision and Goals.

  • Two parallel coral-stone paths curving together around a fallen palm branch after rain.

    When Marriage Does Not Go as Planned

    Rules of Resilience · Day 1They entered marriage with hope and a picture of how their life together would unfold. They expected some difficulties, but they did not anticipate the pressures that eventually came: the financial strain, family responsibilities,…

    Read More When Marriage Does Not Go as PlannedContinue

  • A bamboo house frame on a coral-stone foundation with a distant storm over the sea.

    Build Before the Storm Comes

    Rules of Resilience · Day 2They loved each other, but they had assumed that love would carry them through anything. During the easier seasons, they rarely discussed their finances, prayed together inconsistently, avoided certain conversations, and kept postponing the…

    Read More Build Before the Storm ComesContinue

  • One clay cup seen directly and another distorted through wavy rain glass.

    The Story You Are Telling Yourself About Your Spouse

    Rules of Resilience · Day 3Your spouse comes home quieter than usual. They answer your question briefly, place the phone down, and seem distracted. That is what happened. But almost immediately, another story may begin forming in your mind:…

    Read More The Story You Are Telling Yourself About Your SpouseContinue

  • Two sea-grape shoots framed in warm light with a thorn branch outside the frame.

    Choose Thoughts That Strengthen Your Marriage

    Rules of Resilience · Day 4They had been married long enough to know each other’s weaknesses. Unfortunately, they had also begun rehearsing those weaknesses in their minds. When something went wrong, old thoughts returned quickly: He never listens. She…

    Read More Choose Thoughts That Strengthen Your MarriageContinue

  • An unfinished bamboo house model and blank planning board on a worktable.

    Keep Your Eyes on the Marriage You Are Building

    Rules of Resilience · Day 5After learning to question the negative stories they had been telling themselves, they realised they needed a clearer story about where they were going. For months, most of their conversations had centred on what…

    Read More Keep Your Eyes on the Marriage You Are BuildingContinue

  • Two sea-grape plants beside a slow-watering vessel in one clay planter.

    Growing Together Takes Time

    Rules of Resilience · Day 6Writing down their vision gave them hope. For the first time in a while, they were not only discussing what needed to change. They were talking about what their marriage could become. But within…

    Read More Growing Together Takes TimeContinue

  • Natural sisal rope with a re-spliced section and secure central join.

    Change What Is Yours to Change

    Rules of Resilience · Day 7They had been having the same disagreement for months. Each conversation ended with one spouse explaining what the other needed to change, while both walked away feeling unheard and frustrated. Without realising it, they…

    Read More Change What Is Yours to ChangeContinue

  • Two clay rain vessels, one chipped, holding water beside new green leaves.

    Accepting Reality Without Becoming Bitter

    Rules of Resilience · Day 8Once they stopped trying to manage each other, they faced another difficult task. They had to acknowledge what was true about their marriage and the season they were living through. Some things were improving,…

    Read More Accepting Reality Without Becoming BitterContinue

  • Two bamboo poles sharing a suspended coral stone in a sisal sling.

    You Were Never Meant to Carry It Alone

    Rules of Resilience · Day 9After acknowledging the difficult season they were in, they realised something else: they had been trying to carry too much by themselves. They prayed privately, worried quietly, and did their best to keep functioning….

    Read More You Were Never Meant to Carry It AloneContinue

  • A bamboo shelter frame with diagonal bracing and coral-stone feet in calm weather.

    Strengthen Your Marriage Before You Need the Support

    Rules of Resilience · Day 10Once they recognised that they needed support, they began looking more closely at what they had already built around their marriage. They had people they could call, but some relationships had not been nurtured…

    Read More Strengthen Your Marriage Before You Need the SupportContinue

  • Two bamboo shoots with visible roots growing in a shared garden bed.

    Your Marriage Grows as You Grow

    Rules of Resilience · Day 11After looking at the areas of their marriage that needed strengthening, they began to recognise something important. Some of the resources they needed could come from trusted people, wise counsel, and better preparation. But…

    Read More Your Marriage Grows as You GrowContinue

  • Four sisal practice lashings progressing from loose to strong on bamboo.

    Practise the Skill Your Marriage Needs

    Rules of Resilience · Day 12Naming their areas of growth brought clarity, but the couple soon discovered that clarity alone was not enough. During their next disagreement, the same patterns returned. One became defensive. The other raised their voice…

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  • Two polished clay jars, one leaking water through a hairline crack.

    When “We’re Fine” Is Not True

    Rules of Resilience · Day 13They had begun practising healthier communication, but there was still one conversation they avoided. Whenever the subject came close, one of them changed the topic. The other quietly decided it was not the right…

    Read More When “We’re Fine” Is Not TrueContinue

  • Two clay cups facing across lowered woven bamboo screens.

    Laying Down Defensiveness

    Rules of Resilience · Day 14When they finally had the conversation they had been avoiding, it did not unfold perfectly. One spouse shared a concern, and the other immediately began explaining. Before long, the conversation shifted from listening to…

    Read More Laying Down DefensivenessContinue

  • Two fresh sea-grape shoots emerging through storm-washed coral gravel.

    Finding Growth in a Difficult Season

    Rules of Resilience · Day 15Once they began speaking honestly and listening with less defensiveness, they were able to look at their difficult season differently. The pain was still real. There were still questions they could not answer and…

    Read More Finding Growth in a Difficult SeasonContinue

  • Two new plants beside a removed thorny root with water being poured into the soil.

    Choosing Healing Over Bitterness

    Rules of Resilience · Day 16As they reflected on what their difficult season had revealed, they also recognised something else. Although they had begun talking about the hurt, parts of it were still shaping how they treated each other….

    Read More Choosing Healing Over BitternessContinue

  • A bamboo yoke with an overloaded stone basket and a balanced basket of water vessels and leaves.

    Is It Hard, or Has It Become Heavy?

    Rules of Resilience · Day 17As they chose healing over bitterness, the couple noticed how tired they had become. They had carried unresolved concerns, repeated disagreements, family responsibilities, and private disappointments for so long that weariness had started to…

    Read More Is It Hard, or Has It Become Heavy?Continue

  • A sisal-lashed bamboo footbridge leading across flowing water to a warm shelter.

    Let Purpose Strengthen Your Perseverance

    Rules of Resilience · Day 18Once they spoke honestly about what felt heavy, the couple began making changes. They shared certain responsibilities more fairly, sought support in an area they could not resolve alone, and released expectations that had…

    Read More Let Purpose Strengthen Your PerseveranceContinue

  • Two clay vessels beginning to fill beneath a split bamboo rainwater channel.

    When Your Marriage Is Running on Empty

    Rules of Resilience · Day 19After reconnecting with the purpose of their marriage, the couple felt encouraged. They knew what they wanted their relationship and home to represent. But they also had to admit something difficult: they were tired….

    Read More When Your Marriage Is Running on EmptyContinue

  • Two hibiscus blossoms sheltered by a curved bamboo windbreak.

    Protect the Positive in Your Marriage

    Rules of Resilience · Day 20As they became more intentional about rest and renewal, the couple noticed something else. Their marriage did not need as much pressure. It needed more of the things that brought them joy. For a…

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  • A handcrafted Caribbean house model mostly completed with one section still being built.

    The Marriage God Is Still Building

    Rules of Resilience · Day 21As they looked back over the past few weeks, the couple realised that their circumstances had not changed completely. Some conversations still needed to happen. Certain wounds were still healing. They were still learning…

    Read More The Marriage God Is Still BuildingContinue

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    • Letting Go
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    • Becoming Best Friends in Marriage
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