When Control Replaces Trust
Addictions
Day 14 of 21 · Friday 15 May 2026
Scripture reading
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6, KJV
Teaching lesson
She checked everything he did.
He questioned every decision she made.
At first, they called it concern.Then they called it protection.But over time, it began to feel like control.
Control in marriage does not always look harsh. Sometimes it sounds like:
“I’m only trying to help.”“I know what is best.”“If you loved me, you would do it my way.”
But love was never meant to feel like pressure.
Sometimes control grows from fear. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being ignored. Fear of things going wrong. So, we try to manage everything and sometimes everyone.
But marriage cannot breathe where one spouse feels controlled.
Trust does not mean there are no boundaries.Trust does not mean there is no accountability.But trust does mean we give each other room to be respected, heard, and valued.
God calls us to trust Him with our hearts. That includes trusting Him with the parts of marriage we cannot force or fix.
Control says, “I must make this happen.”Faith says, “God, help me respond with wisdom and love.”
Together
Your challenge
Ask your spouse, “Is there any area where you feel pressured or controlled by me?” Listen without defending yourself.
On your own
To reflect on
- Do I try to control because I am afraid to trust?
Prayer focus
“Lord, help me to release unhealthy control. Teach me to trust You, respect my spouse, and build a marriage where love feels safe, not pressured. Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.