When Marriage Does Not Go as Planned
Rules of Resilience
Day 1 of 21 · Sunday 14 June 2026
Scripture reading
“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33, KJV
Teaching lesson
They entered marriage with hope and a picture of how their life together would unfold. They expected some difficulties, but they did not anticipate the pressures that eventually came: the financial strain, family responsibilities, tiredness, misunderstandings, and seasons when they struggled to feel close.
With every unexpected turn, they quietly wondered whether something was wrong with their marriage.
Many couples feel this way. We may know that marriage requires work, but still feel surprised when love does not protect us from disappointment, change, or hardship. When reality looks different from what we imagined, we can begin blaming each other for a season neither spouse expected.
Jesus did not tell His followers that trouble might come. He said that it would. Yet He spoke these words so that they could have peace in Him. The presence of difficulty does not mean that God has left, and a challenging season does not automatically mean that a marriage is failing.
Sometimes the unexpected arrives through pain. At other times, it comes through blessing. A new baby, a promotion, a business opportunity, a move, or caring for an ageing parent may be positive changes, but they can still place pressure on a couple’s time, finances, emotions, and connection.
A resilient marriage is not one in which everything goes according to plan. It is one in which two people learn to pause, pray, adjust, and face changing circumstances as a team. This is not pessimism. It is mature faith; the ability to acknowledge that life may be difficult while still believing that God will provide wisdom for what comes next.
The unexpected does not have to divide you. With grace, honesty, and God’s help, it can teach you how to become stronger together.
Together
Your challenge
Take a few quiet minutes together and name one expectation each of you brought into marriage that reality has challenged.
Do not use the conversation to complain or assign blame. Instead, complete this sentence:
"I am learning to release the expectation that…"
Then identify one current change affecting your marriage and discuss one practical way you can support each other through it.
End by saying together:
"Whatever comes, we will seek God and adjust together."
On your own
To reflect on
- When marriage does not unfold as I expected, do I respond with blame and disappointment, or with honesty, prayer, and a willingness to adjust?
Prayer focus
“Father, sometimes we hold tightly to the marriage we imagined and struggle to accept the season we are actually living through. Forgive us for the times disappointment has caused us to blame, withdraw from, or misunderstand each other. Teach us to face reality without losing hope. When unexpected changes come, help us to pause, seek Your wisdom, and respond as a team. Give us peace in the hard seasons and grace to adjust even when the changes are good. May every season draw us closer to You and closer to one another. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.