Friendship When Feelings Are Low
Becoming Best Friends in Marriage
Day 18 of 21 · Wednesday 12 August 2026
Scripture reading
“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
Colossians 3:14, KJV
Teaching lesson
They still loved each other.
But warmth did not come easily in that season.
Both were tired. Recent disappointments had not been fully resolved, and the friendship that once felt natural now required effort.
Many couples become afraid when their feelings change.
They assume that low affection means love has disappeared or that the marriage has lost something it cannot recover.
But feelings move through seasons.
Colossians tells us to put on love. This describes love as something we choose to practise, even when emotion is not leading the way.
Putting on love does not mean pretending.
It does not require false enthusiasm or ignoring wounds that need honest conversation, repentance, healing, or professional support.
It means refusing to let low feelings become permission for cruelty, neglect, or complete withdrawal.
Friendship during a low season may look quieter.
It may be a gentle greeting, keeping a promise, making a cup of tea, asking how your spouse is coping, or choosing not to speak harshly.
These actions do not manufacture emotion.
They protect the ground where affection may begin growing again.
Sometimes the most loving thing a couple can do is acknowledge the distance.
"I do not feel as close as I want to feel, but I still care about us."
That sentence carries both truth and hope.
Do not compare a difficult season with the easiest chapter of your relationship.
Ask what faithfulness looks like today.
Feelings may take time to return, especially where there has been hurt.
Friendship is not proven only by emotional intensity.
It is also revealed through patient, honest, and respectful love when the heart is learning how to draw near again.
Together
Your challenge
Choose one sincere act of friendship today without demanding a particular response. If appropriate, say, "I may feel distant, but I still value us and want to keep moving towards you."
On your own
To reflect on
- When affectionate feelings are low, do my choices protect the possibility of renewed closeness or deepen the distance?
Prayer focus
“Lord, teach us to practise love with honesty and patience. Protect us from cruelty, neglect, and hopelessness when feelings are low. Heal what has been wounded and help friendship grow again. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.