Growing Together, Not Apart · Day 20 of 21
Showing Grace When Growth Takes Time
Scripture reading
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Colossians 3:12-13, KJV
Teaching lesson
For several days, their conversations had felt different.
They were listening more carefully and interrupting less. Then, during a hurried morning, he cut her off and dismissed her concern. She felt the familiar hurt return.
Before she could respond, he stopped. "I did it again. I am sorry. Please finish what you were saying."
The old response had appeared. So had a willingness to recognise it and repair.
Colossians calls God's people to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Paul places forgiveness within that way of life, reminding believers of the forgiveness they have received in Christ.
These qualities matter when growth is still unfinished.
A new habit may take time to become dependable. Tiredness or pressure can expose a response we thought we had left behind. The lapse matters, and so does what happens next.
Does the person acknowledge it? Do they listen to its effect, make repair, and continue working towards change?
Grace makes room for honest learning. It also allows the hurt to be named. You can accept an apology while explaining that the response was painful and needs continued attention.
If you are the person who fell back into an old habit, resist using your recent progress to minimise today's hurt. Take responsibility for this moment. Ask what helped you respond differently before and what support you may need to practise that response again.
If you are receiving the apology, look honestly at the wider pattern. A genuine lapse within growing consistency is different from repeated harm followed by words that never lead to change.
Forgiveness does not remove the need for accountability or make trust immediate. Where a damaging pattern continues, clear boundaries and appropriate help remain important.
Bring your frustration and your effort before God.
Ask Him to teach you both the patience that stays truthful and the humility that keeps learning. Growth has room to continue where grace and responsibility are practised together.
Put it into practice
Together
Your challenge
Each identify one response you are still learning to change. Agree on a simple way to acknowledge a lapse and return to a healthier response, including an apology when hurt has been caused.
On your own
To reflect on
- When growth is imperfect, do I dismiss the effort already made, or use that effort as an excuse to avoid responsibility for present hurt?
Prayer focus
“Lord, thank You for the grace You continue to show us. Help us be patient without overlooking harm and honest without becoming harsh. Give us humility to make repair, courage to seek help when needed, and faithfulness to keep practising what is good. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.