Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Letting Go
Day 6 of 7 · Thursday 19 March 2026
Scripture reading
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; with…: or, in the love of the brethren”
Romans 12:10, KJV
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4, KJV
Teaching lesson
One of the lessons Joshua and I had to learn in our marriage was letting go of unrealistic expectations.
Early in our marriage, Joshua assumed that romance would naturally stay on autopilot. On my part, I believed that marriage would always feel easy.
Over time, we both realised that those expectations were not realistic.
There was a season when the pressures of work and church responsibilities began to take up a significant amount of our time and energy. It was during that period that we began to see how our expectations were creating disappointment.
Joshua realised that romance does not maintain itself. It must be intentionally prioritised. I also came to understand that marriage is not always easy, and it requires conscious effort from both of us.
That shift in understanding helped us grow.
We began to approach our relationship with more intentionality. Communication became more important. We learned to extend grace to each other and to appreciate our differences instead of expecting perfection.
Most importantly, we learned not to place unrealistic pressure on each other to fulfil every need. Instead, we leaned more on God as our source and allowed our marriage to grow in a healthier, more balanced way.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations helped us replace pressure with understanding and frustration with grace.
Together
Your challenge
Discuss one expectation you may have placed on your spouse that needs to be adjusted.
Commit to replacing it with understanding and intentional effort.
On your own
To reflect on
- Am I expecting my spouse to fulfil needs that only God can meet?
- Have my expectations created pressure or disappointment in our marriage?
- How can I show more grace and understanding toward my spouse?
Prayer focus
“Lord, help us to release unrealistic expectations that create pressure in our marriage.Teach us to love each other with grace, patience, and understanding.Help us to rely on You as our source and to be intentional in how we nurture our relationship.In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.