Making Decisions as a Team
A decision about a major expense had been waiting for weeks. One spouse had researched every option and wanted an answer. The other kept asking for more time. Soon, each began to see the…
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Talking About Our Family Goals
They handled family matters whenever they became urgent. A relative needed help. Household responsibilities had been neglected. Another weekend disappeared beneath errands and obligations. They were constantly responding but rarely deciding together what their…
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Creating a Shared Marriage Vision
They loved each other, but their plans rarely aligned in conversation. She was thinking about the next five years. He was trying to manage the demands of this week. When she spoke about the…
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Saying What You Admire
He said, “You know I appreciate you.” She believed him, but she could not remember the last time he had explained what he appreciated. In another marriage, the wife often thought warmly about her…
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Replacing Criticism With Curiosity
He came home later than expected. Before he could explain, she said, “You never consider my time.” On another day, she forgot something important. He responded, “You clearly do not care enough to remember.”…
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Inviting Your Spouse Into Your Inner World
She could tell something was on his mind. When she asked, he said, “Nothing. I am fine.” A few days later, he noticed that she seemed distant. She wanted him to understand, but she…
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Speaking as Friends, Not Opponents
The conversation began with a simple disagreement. Within minutes, both spouses were collecting evidence, defending their position, and pointing out where the other person was wrong. They were no longer trying to understand. They…
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Showing Interest in Your Spouse’s World
He began talking about something that happened at work. She did not know the people involved, and the details did not seem important to her. She listened briefly, then changed the subject. On another…
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Sharing the Small Details of Life
At the end of the day, she asked, “How was everything?” He answered, “Fine.” She said her day was fine too. Nothing was wrong, but very little was shared. Over time, a marriage can…
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Listening Like a Friend
He was explaining why the week had been difficult. She heard one detail she disagreed with and began preparing her response. A few moments later, they were debating facts instead of talking about what…
