When Blame Blocks Growth
Addictions
Day 16 of 21 · Sunday 17 May 2026
Scripture reading
“For every man shall bear his own burden.”
Galatians 6:5, KJV
Teaching lesson
Every time they talked, the sentence started the same way:
“If you didn’t…”“You always…”“It’s because of you…”
Both were hurt.Both had valid feelings.But neither wanted to own their part.
Blame feels easier than responsibility.
It gives us somewhere to place the pain. But it rarely brings healing.
In marriage, it is possible for your spouse to be wrong and still have something you need to learn. It is possible to be hurt and still need to examine your own response.
Taking responsibility does not mean taking all the blame.It means being honest about your part.
Maybe your tone was harsh.Maybe you withdrew.Maybe you stopped trying.Maybe you avoided the conversation.Maybe you reacted to old pain.
Growth begins when we stop saying, “This is all your fault,” and start asking, “Lord, what are You showing me?”
A healthy marriage needs two people willing to grow, not just two people waiting for the other to change.
Together
Your challenge
Each of you complete this sentence: “One area I need to take more responsibility for is…”
On your own
To reflect on
- What part of our struggles have I been avoiding responsibility for?
Prayer focus
“Lord, give me the humility to see myself honestly. Help me to take responsibility without shame and to grow in ways that bring healing to our marriage. Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.