Intentional Love · Day 2 of 21
Choosing Your Spouse Today
Scripture reading
“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
Colossians 3:14, KJV
Teaching lesson
Before leaving home, he checked his keys, his phone and the time. His wife stood nearby, trying to finish a sentence about something that was troubling her. He was already reaching for the door when he noticed the disappointment on her face.
He could not stay for a long conversation. But he could stop long enough to say, 'I want to hear this properly. Can we sit together when I get home?' Then he could remember to do it.
Choosing your spouse often looks like that. It happens within a day that already has demands, when you make a deliberate decision to treat your relationship with care.
In Colossians, Paul calls believers to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Above all, he tells them to put on charity, meaning love. The picture is of something we deliberately wear as we go about our lives.
We can bring that same intention into marriage.
There will be mornings when affection comes easily. There will also be mornings when you feel distracted, disappointed or simply tired. Those feelings deserve honest attention. Even then, you can ask God to help you choose a response that honours your spouse.
Perhaps today's choice is keeping a promise. Perhaps it is including your spouse in a decision that affects you both, or speaking respectfully when you disagree.
A loving choice does not require you to pretend that everything is well. Sometimes it is the decision to say, gently and truthfully, 'We need to talk about what happened.' Care makes room for honesty as well as kindness.
Think about the person you married as they are today, with today's concerns and responsibilities. What would communicate that they matter to you in this particular season?
Your wedding vows began a shared commitment. The ordinary choices you make now give that commitment expression. Ask God for the grace to make one of those choices with fresh attention today.
Put it into practice
Together
Your challenge
Complete this sentence for each other: 'One choice that would help me feel considered today is…' Agree on something realistic, then follow through before the day ends.
On your own
To reflect on
- What decision within my control today could show my spouse that our relationship matters to me?
Prayer focus
“Heavenly Father, help us to put on love in the choices we make today. Give us kindness when we are distracted and honesty when something needs attention. Teach us to consider each other and to honour the commitments we make. In Jesus' name, Amen.”
With love and prayer,Sharlene
Vividly in Love offers encouragement and practical tools, not counselling. If your marriage is in a season that needs professional support, Sharlene’s counselling practice, Vivid Resolutions, works with adults and couples across the Caribbean.
This is not a crisis service. Emergency contacts vary across the Caribbean. If there is immediate danger, contact your local police or ambulance service. In Trinidad and Tobago: Police 999, Ambulance 811, or 800-COPE (2673) for a mental-health crisis.