Putting God First in Our Marriage

Teaching lesson

One of the most important lessons I have learned in marriage is that when God is not at the centre, the relationship eventually becomes a struggle of personalities, expectations, and emotions.

Joshua and I experienced this about six years into our marriage. We loved each other, but we were not seeing eye to eye and did not know how to resolve the tension between us.

During that season, God began working on both of our hearts. The Lord placed it strongly on my heart to begin praying intentionally for our marriage. Around that same time, Joshua, who would be the first to admit that reading was never really his thing, felt a new desire to start reading.

One of the first books he purchased was Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The premise of that book changed how we viewed marriage. Gary Thomas asks the question:

“What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”

Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage

That perspective was confronting for both of us. It challenged us to see marriage not simply as a relationship meant to meet our personal needs, but as a relationship God uses to shape our character and deepen our faith.

Out of that season, Joshua and I began something that would transform our marriage: regular marriage devotions together. Today, sixteen years into our marriage, we can say that we have never gone a full week without taking time for marriage devotion.

We have learned something powerful through this habit. It is very difficult to remain angry with each other when we are praying for one another. Prayer softens our hearts, opens the door for reconciliation, and reminds us that we are not opponents. We are partners seeking God together.

Putting God first did not remove every challenge in our marriage, but it completely changed how we faced those challenges. When God is at the centre, the atmosphere of the marriage changes. And where God is present, restoration becomes possible.